Banishing Trolls
Sharing your art on the internet is a strange thing. Hell, just being on the internet is strange.
It’s a wild, boundless plain, where people think their unsolicited advice is helpful and should be dropped as bombs without your consent.
Yes, I am talking about haters. But not regular, in your face, straight up dickhead trolls, I’m talking a much shittier kind. The kind of people that drop in pretending to want a connection, or offering a compliment, and then dump boring monologues under the guise of feedback.
Firstly, when did this become okay? And secondly, why do these people have so much time on their hands? Don’t they have any hobbies? Dishes to wash? Miscellaneous junk draws to sort? A life to live, perhaps?
I couldn’t imagine sitting down on my phone, glancing at someone’s art, deciding to write a long form essay on how they could improve it and why and ACTUALLY PRESSING SEND. I mean…I just can’t comprehend it.
Truly bizarre. Truly stupid. Truly something that I wish social media would invent a filter for already. Where’s the robots when we need em? It would be lovely to have someone screen my DMs and emails for undercover grammar police officers. Hell, maybe I should look into that…
I suppose my most recent experience cut particularly deep because it was for something I was truly proud of and had poured countless hours and creative energy and money into. It was too late for me to be able to change anything – the dang thing was printed and the invoice was paid – and yet this person still felt it was relevant to nitpick a certain phrase I’d written and school me like a venomous high school English teacher.
Beyond my experience, which I handled as politely as I could, I began to wonder how many other writers and creatives this person was bringing down with their “help”. How many humans were hurting because this person stabbed their creative project between the ribs, at a time when they needed a hug?
And yes, sharing your art publicly means we have to deal with a few monsters from time to time. But that doesn’t make us automatically immune. It takes time to build our protective shield and work out whose words are there to help and whose are aimed to hinder.
If you’re finding yourself in the same position, here’s a couple of questions to ask yourself:
Did I ask for their opinion?
Was their comment coming from a place of education or intellectual superiority?
If it’s a loud and clear NO then they’re obviously a troll, or in the very least, not someone you want to engage with.
There’s a narrative out there saying that if you share your work or run a business that you should listen to everyone and show that you value their input, but I don’t agree.
Sometimes people are just mean. And if they’re being mean to you, especially when that meanness is masked as kindness, then they’re probably not your ideal audience or customer. And if that’s the case, do you really want them in your community anyway?
Crisis support session: over. I hope this helped.
Love, Viv